I'll be sweet if you let me ♥

Life now.

[Dec. 25th, 2005|01:08 am]

[	mood	\|	sick	]
[	music	\|	Mettalica-Devils Dance	]

Ya..I think it was two days ago that my life fell completly apart...I have to face the consequiences for something I had no part of. What the fuck ever that's life though. I'm trying to move on but it's not working. All my friends hate me being depressed...Shelby got me a boyfrined...Niko ya I guess he's okay..Kristina is taking me to the Keys in a couple of days on her boat...But I don't really care any more. I had Chritmas on Christmas eve cause my Dad is probably going to be so shit faced tomarrow he won't be able to walk and my Mom will be poppen them pills again..but wait isn't that everyday? Ya I guess Christmas was okay...Could have been better. I hate being like this..

(no subject)	[Dec. 6th, 2005\|06:41 pm]
hmm..things turned out okay at Bake Sale...Karena ended up not coming with us and it was just me and Shelby. We ended up hanging out with a bunch of different people during the day and then at night we hung out with Steven and Niko. Well Shelby was making out with Steven on the hill and me and Niko where making out and my ex-boyfriend walked up and introduced himself to Niko...it was really akward but I had alota fun...oops I cheted on Anthony...I don't know why but I don't even really care. But I really like Niko. All well life is confusing. But yea I got pictures at Bake Sale when I get 'em developed I'll post them here and on my Myspace.
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[Nov. 30th, 2005|05:31 pm]

[

mood

fuck.

]

Fuck this I don't even want ot go to bake sale any more...karena assumed she could get a ride wit hus but we dont have any room(apperantly we do now though) and she got her ticket and doesnt have a ride there. and she always has to be the center of attention no tter what...I'm going to end up punching karena in her face..she just gets on my last nerve and I don't take peoples shit. Will someone come to rescue me from here?

[Nov. 30th, 2005|04:33 pm]

[	mood	\|	annoyed	]
[	music	\|	Sublime-Santeria	]

Why the hell is everyone deleting there journals? Is it because Christians confession? It doesn't matter what or who they are...they where great people; kind, smart, and talented. They never did anything to persuade or brainwash us as some people say. That is bull shit. We form our own damn opinions. After his confession I think nothing different of him. He's still the same person. So Fuck You if you think any bull shit like that. And if you do think that shit let me know.

BBS!

[Nov. 28th, 2005|07:20 pm]

[	mood	\|	excited	]
[	music	\|	Killing Lonliness-HIM	]

This Saturday is Buzz Bake Sale from 10pm-12am. I'll be there the whole time with Shelby and I can't wait! I just got my ticket tonight, the people at Specs said they have three tickets left so I'm glad I finally got mine. This is who I'm going to see...

Staind
My Chemical Romance
Our Lady Peace
Trapt
Story Of The Year
Local H
Hot Hot Heat
One
nonpoint
Taproot
Socialburn
30 Seconds To Mars
Art Of Dying
Pepper
The Fray
Sunny Ledfurd
Morningwood

I had to get lawn seats though..it sucks..but what ever at least I'm going to be able to go. :)

1 comment|post comment

[Nov. 24th, 2005|05:42 pm]

[	mood	\|	sick	]
[	music	\|	Disturbed	]

I'm never going to drink again...I feel like shit! I'll still smoke but no more alchol. Heh that's what I said last time.

[Nov. 20th, 2005|05:03 pm]

[

mood

depressed

]

As I watch Queen of the Damned I get a low sinking feeling, the feeling you get before you sink into a deep depression that will take you months to come out of, if you even do. I can't help it, I don't know why it is, but it is. It is out of control by now. It was never this bad. Ever. I hate this feeling with a passion, I want something to happen so this feeling will dissolve but I have no idea if anything would ever happen or not. Maybe one day something will happen, maybe nothing big, but something...anything. I don't know what to do anymore. I'm so lost...

1 comment|post comment

Fuck.

[Nov. 20th, 2005|04:41 pm]

[

mood

pissed off

]

Fuck everyone and everything. I can't deal wit htis shit anymore. I wanna leave and never say goodbye to anyone, never see them again. I don't know what to do, this is bullshit.

Mon Amour.

[Nov. 15th, 2005|02:41 pm]

[	mood	\|	worried	]
[	music	\|	Celldweller- Goodbye.	]

I was always rite on his trail. About two months or so behind him. I was looking and searching any where I thought he might have gone. All I wanted to do was to look into his beautiful eyes and have them captivate me. Have a conversation of philosophy, music, art, the world..everything. Travel the world with him (maybe a companion of sorts). But as soon as I find him, he falls out of my grip and he is no where to be found. I will never stop loving him, he has taught me so much without him even knowing it. Thank you my love.

Eternally, Aurora.

My icons.

[Oct. 18th, 2005|10:47 pm]

[	mood	\|	tired	]
[	music	\|	Silence	]

Poems.

[Oct. 15th, 2005|07:27 pm]

[	mood	\|	okay	]
[	music	\|	Three Days Grace-Just Like You.	]

Kiss Me.

Kiss me and take the world away.
I dont want to see anything else.
Hold me tight.
So that I wont have to.
Love me.
Like no one ever has.
Be my strength.
Because im losing mine.
Im so sorry.
That im so needy.

Aviated.

when it seems like everytime we fall, we're aviated. when it seems like everytime we lose it all, we've made it. love can kill you in your sleep or when you walk the plank. love can kill you in the middle of the streets or when your mind is blank. my arms are open once again to hold so. i promise you, i will never let you go...

Pain.

A reality check,
A wake up to the world,
A break in illusions,
Illusions to protect you from things unknown,
Being hurt, realization your here, breathing..not dreaming anymore.

wake up please..
i cant do it..
you have to try
i cant break the illusions that have been there for so long now..

There like a cusion
Protecting you from things you dont want to see or here.
And suddenly you wake up.
And it's all gone.

Aurora.

Ask me any thing

[Sep. 3rd, 2005|12:14 pm]

[	mood	\|	good	]
[	music	\|	My Chemical Romance	]

Ask me 3 questions no more no less. You can ask me anything you want.
Then go into your journal and do the same so that everyone that reads your journal can ask you 3 questions (including myself)

I can't take this any longer...

3 comments|post comment

[Aug. 31st, 2005|07:29 pm]

[	mood	\|	depressed	]
[	music	\|	Seether-Got it made	]

I can not take this life any longer, I am so sick of my parents fighting, bitching about who I am, how I think, and my grades in math. I read something somewhere and it made me have an ounce of hope, but the feeling has faded. I love someone and they have no clue that I love them or even who I am, I am afraid to tell him, afraid what he will say to me about it. I have one good friend whom I love dearly. I also want something which is insane to think about.

SEETHER- GOT IT MADE

So I said this once before
I'm never gonna give you in
No, not again
Cause I've wasted all I've known,
to watch it fade and slip away now
from my hands
And what I have I have in mind
And I think about you all the time

[Chorus:]
I'm feeling miles away
You think I've got it made
I don't belong here
I feel like a candle burning at both ends
I don't belong here

Now I hide myself away
I never wanna feel again
Cause I faced this all alone
I let it seep and wash away now
It's all the same
And what I have I have in mind
And I think about you all the time

*Dedicated to Him*

[Aug. 24th, 2005|08:38 pm]

These are my friends!

Bottom left: Taylor...she just moved

Middle:Suan, Karena's brother

Bottom right: Karena

Top: Ahlyn <3

Aurora.

Thank you.

[Aug. 23rd, 2005|09:39 pm]

[

mood

grateful

]

Lestat,

Questo è significato per il suo occhio solo. So che lei non si potrebbe si preoccupare che molto ma abbia voluto dire appena il ringraziamento lei per aiutare me. Credo adesso in Dio, non so perché ma sono andato alla chiesa con un amico stasera e ho pensato di lei come ho pregato, e ho cominciato a credere in lui. Ma se lei mai legge questo, per favore fatemi sapere in qualche modo. Ma la ringrazia ancora.

Eternamente, l'Aurora.

My friends

[Aug. 22nd, 2005|09:52 pm]

[

mood

sad

]

Ashlyn~I love you soo much!! Words can't describe the love that I feel for you! I have been friends with you since sixth grade and your brother killed all of that when we where in seventh grade, I hate him! What ever happened to you loving spike? lol or cheese? But he plan is still on, how many years is it now? I think three..but I don't know for sure..Oh well. I can't wait until we move to New Orleans!! It will be an awesome drive there, we have to go to Panama city one day. But I love you FOREVER!

Selene~You have helped me through alot of things over this summer, If you weren't here to help I don't know where I would be rite now...Thank you so very much. WE also had alot of fun with..what was the screen name..LestatRulez? well we had fun messing with meagan, she entertained me for awhile. Thank you again for being there for me, It's greatly appreciated. xoxox

Karena~ I love you, but you'll never understand me enough to love me the way that I love you, You'll never understand me or Ashlyn fully. An example is at lunch today...what you where mocking and you also don't understand that Ashlyn and I can't find a guy who is...you know...but thats not the point. You know the way I am in school and around other people but when im alone or with Ashlyn, the real me comes out. And I don't want you to see that side of me, I'm not pulling you into what im in. It's hell, you never stop thinking, It's in your every waking moment your thinking about it. I hate it soo much, It's making me depressed as hell. And I love you more then you know so I refuse to let you see the other side of me and to pull you into the Hell that I live in. Eternally, Aurora.

what does normal feel like?

[Aug. 22nd, 2005|03:47 pm]

[	mood	\|	contemplative	]
[	music	\|	Scars-Papa Roach	]

I was thinking this morning when i was driving to school, what does it feel like to be normal? I was looking around at the people in my school, They where talking about how there boyfriend cheated on them or there friend is mad at them for hanging out with someone that they didn't like. I don't know why but none of those things phase me. My friend and I where sitting in Drama first period watching people do there physical scores or something, Then this girl Lisa got up to do hers and her reaction was to a dead body, when she noticed it was there she started laughing and walked off the stage. All the 'normal' people where saying that she was sick and insane. It was just a physical score for a grade in drama. She ended up passing the physical scores with a 100. I'm doing mine on wednesday, I hope I do as good as the 'insane one'. But anyway, I'm just so sick of living the routine life; wake up at five, go to school, get out at 2 and drive home, do homework, take a shower and do whatever until I get tired and i go to bed. Will this boring cycle ever get better?

Don't you hate it when...

[Aug. 21st, 2005|05:41 pm]

[	mood	\|	annoyed	]
[	music	\|	arsenal	]

Don't you hate it when people talk about you behind your back and don't have the courage to say it to your damn face? If any one has shit to say to me say it to my fucking face! Oh and Tim whatch out cause I have a bigger knife now. *smiles*

xoxo Aurora.

[Aug. 20th, 2005|04:43 pm]

[	mood	\|	hungry	]
[	music	\|	sugar where going down	]

This is me..im sunburnt and it sucks ass! well ya..comment?